My ex-fiance and I got engaged after dating for almost a year. He was a really nice guy and my decision to call off our wedding was very difficult for me to make. The problem was that every little detail of his life caused an immeasurable amount of stress for him and ultimately, for me.
It wasn't just the big things like going on a big job interview that freaked him out, it was little things like picking out what movie to rent on a Saturday night or choosing the toppings for his frozen yogurt. I constantly tried to calm him down and frequently told him it was not a big deal. I tried to push this issue aside and convinced myself that I could help him through it. But, things only got worse as time went on. His issues started to weigh so heavily on me that I could not get through a day without wondering if he was freaking out about one thing or another.
After he proposed the focus shifted to the wedding plans. Instead of enjoying what should have been one of the most exciting and fun times of our lives, he was filled with a sense of terror every time we went to a wedding appointment. Picking the date took two weeks of going through a calendar with a fine tooth comb and a highlighter. Choosing the venue meant driving to twelve different locations (some twice) and listening to my fiance ask every question in the book. The tablecloths, flowers, band, invitations, place cards, and wedding favors caused so much stress that we wound up fighting all the time. I couldn't take it anymore and I realized that I couldn't live my life like that.
I finally made the incredibly difficult decision to break-off our engagement last month and move on with my life. In the past few weeks I feel like a weight has been lifted and, although I am sad that he is no longer in my life, I am a much happier person.
My ex-fiancé and I were about to get married and we planned a joint bachelor/bachelorette party in Miami. The first night of the trip we went out to dinner all together, but we decided to go out separately afterwards. He went out with his buddies and my girlfriends took me to a dance club. We had a great time and danced until 4 am.
When I got back to the room, which I was sharing with my fiancé, he wasn't there. I didn't think anything of it- just thought he was still out with his buddies. But, when I woke up later that morning, totally hungover and with a splitting headache, he was sitting on the edge of the bed staring at me. He looked really tense and I could tell that something was wrong. I sat up and leaned in to kiss him, to reassure him that everything would be ok. He pulled away and said that it wouldn't be fair to her. He explained that he had met someone last night and they were soul mates. He had left his friends and spent the night with her, talking and getting to know her. I felt like I was going to pass out and be sick all at the same time. I couldn't speak and just sat there motionless, as he told me about how great she was. He said that he couldn't marry me, as if he was worried that I would still want to go through with it. I finally composed myself enough to tell him to get out.
I spent the next hour crying, shaking, and hugging the toilet bowl. I called my sister, who was in her room down the hall, and she rushed over and got us on the next flight home. My friends and family were so supportive and helpful in undoing the wedding preparations. Canceling your wedding that is only two months away iis like stopping a freight train. It was definitely the worst thing I have ever experienced, but I am grateful that I found out what kind of man my ex was before we got married. I am now seeing a wonderful guy and, even though we are nowhere near getting married yet, I am hopeful for my future.